Living with a disability is not the end of the world. It has its challenges, but with the right mindset, a disabled person can do just as much as anyone. My family and I had lived with disability since 2005 when my husband fell and broke his back. We came together to get him through his challenges and although times have been tough, we succeeded. My own disability began in 2007. I was working as a teacher’s assistant for a local public school system, when I started having difficulty with my vision. After many tests were preformed a tumor was discovered on my Pituitary Gland. This tumor was pressing against my optic nerve and caused vision loss in my right eye. The doctors determined that they did not want to perform surgery to remove the tumor, as it was against a carotid artery. With the help of medications, the tumor was shrunk, but the damage had been done. My vision loss was permanent. Although I was a teacher’s assistant, once the county found out that my doctors did not advise that I drive a school bus, they began pressuring me to resign or be terminated. In this particular county in North Carolina, anyone who is considered a classified employee (teachers assistants, custodians, office personnel, lunch personnel, etc…) were required to be willing and able to drive a school bus, with exceptions that could be made by the superintendent. The superintendent would not grant me an exception, so I went before the policy review committee and ask the policy be changed to include “anyone with a documented medical condition be exempt from driving a bus”. They refused to make the change. Basically what they were saying is if you cannot drive a bus (which required a Commercial Driver’s License) you could not teach a child, answer a phone, clean a classroom, cook or serve a meal, etc…). This left ANYONE with a disability not able to be employed in a classified position within this particular county, as disabilities exclude people from getting or keeping a Commercial Driver’s License. Being under tremendous stress from my health and the constant pressure from my employer to either resign or be terminated cause other problems. I began having trouble with depression and anxiety and then panic attacks. I was having issues with memory, confusion, and constant emotional ups and downs. So, in June, 2011, four days before graduation, I was terminated because of my disability. I felt I had let down my family, even though having a medical condition was not my fault. This did not end my fight. With the assistance of Disability Rights of North Carolina, a suit was filed against the county and in the end, even though I can never work for that county again, their policy was required by law to be changed so that a person with a disability could be employed in their school system and would not face the struggles and discrimination I had faced.
Attending college was my way of trying to make things better for not only me, but my family. I wanted to show everyone that having a disability did not mean that one had to sit around and do nothing. Stress, anxiety and panic attacks have continued to plague me and in December 2014 I had what the doctors called a “stress stoke”. This basically meant that I did not actually have a stroke, but my body thought I did and I had all the same symptoms and effects of a person who has had a stroke. I spent some time in the hospital and have had physical therapy, but since December I have been in a wheelchair. I use a walker at home, but outside the home, I have to use the wheelchair as I am unstable and have fallen with the walker. The only good news out of this was during my stay at the hospital, another MRI was preformed and it was found that my tumor and shrunk considerably to where they call it a micro adenoma. I have had a struggle in school making sure that I attended class and kept my grades up. I feel that although disabilities tend to weaken the body, I have become a stronger person.
I have always believed that you never really know a person until you walk in their shoes, and this holds true for a person with any disability or disease. Until I became disabled, I took advantage of the things I could do. I worked with children with disabilities from ages 4-22 years old and believed I understood. I may have understood some, but not all. Prior to being in the wheelchair, I never realized the little bumps in the sidewalks, or how the sidewalks were uphill or just slightly at an angle, causing me to veer toward the pond, or not being able to get from a building that is downhill to one uphill, or the front wheels of the wheelchair hitting the break in the sidewalk where a tree root has caused it to be uneven, tipping me over. These are just small things to someone who walks the campus, but huge to someone who rolls it. Getting into bathrooms are challenging because the doors in and out are not handicap accessible. I have also found that although they have a handicapped stall in each bathroom, many non-handicapped people use the larger stall because it is roomier. I find it is just easier to wait and not say anything to the person coming out of the stall. Believe me they certainly do not say anything, but do hold the stall door open.
I believe my greatest triumph since becoming disabled is going to college and earning my Associates degree. My next step is my Bachelor’s Degree. The best advice that I could give someone struggling with my type or any type of disease, disability, or disorder is to never give up. Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do something. Notice the word “disability” itself. Within that same word is ABILITY. Think of a disability, disease or disorder as a bump in the road of life. It may hurt and shake you up a little bit sometimes, but there is strength in our ability. Some techniques to help move forward is push yourself, and do the best of your ability. When an instructor, employer, or just people in general see how hard you will work to get something accomplished, they admire that and usually will work just as hard to assist you in your goals. I think the hardest part is staying mentally, and emotionally strong. So many times we are pushed back, excluded, ignored, or just plain forgotten that it takes a toll on anyone’s mental and emotional state. Keeping your mind focused on your goals, practicing calming techniques, and having a good support system will get one though those tough times.
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