Life comes with difficulties and struggles. No one lives a perfect life, and at some point everyone undergoes misfortune. For some it is at an early age, and for others it is later in life when they are grown and more matured. Unfortunately, in my case, the biggest struggle of my life came at a time most unexpected. When I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I was not yet a legal adult at just the age of 17. Not only did I face the physical and mental difficulties of the illness itself, but this disease came with many other side effects of its own.
Living with any disease immediately changes a person’s life. Before I was diagnosed, I was involved in a number of different things including Varsity Softball, Varsity Cheerleading, National Honor Society, FCA, FFA, a part time job, community service, and it was my senior year of high school. When I was diagnosed, it felt as if all of those things were ripped away from me. Because of surgery, I couldn’t finish playing softball, which if you knew me you would understand just how heartbreaking this was for me. In addition, because I was in a town 5 hours away for treatment, I wasn’t able to even attend any games with my team, who advanced to the first round of playoffs. Another opportunity I had to miss out on. I was unable to compete in an FFA speech competition I had competed in the last three years of my high school career, and lost the opportunity of winning a possible scholarship in the competition. I was also unable to attend our district and area conventions not only as an attendee, but as a district officer. I was also unable to compete at the area talent completion, which myself and the rest of my band had advanced to. My parents and I made the decision to finish my year homeschooled due to my absence from school, as well as my mental health. Because of this, I lost an FFA scholarship I had been working for since I was in third grade, which potentially could have paid for most of my first year of college. I was unable to attend my job, take place in the normal community service I had been a part of, and I was unable to attend my senior softball night, senior prom, senior athletic banquet, and a variety of other events. The loss of all these things had an incredible impact on me emotionally, and for a long while, my spirits remained very low. Something that doesn’t help fight a disease.
In addition to these losses, I also lost friends, and realized how untrue some of my past friends really were. Throughout my illness, not a single high school friend visited me or came by to see how I was. I had never felt more alone and vulnerable. Fortunately, I learned that family is everything and had those wonderful people to fall back on and support me. I learned that true friends are like family. They are the people that are always there for you when you need them, and support you through the hardest moments of my life. I look forward to finding those people in my college experience.
Not only did my disease have an effect on me, but it also affected my closest family. At first, everyone was devastated. It tore me apart to see the people that had always been so constant in my life, so torn up and heartbroken. The atmosphere of all of our lives was darker than it had ever been before. But I am proud to say that we prevailed, and hope and faith became beacons in our lives.
No longer do I ask “why me?” when I think about my disease. Instead I think “what can I learn?” You see, the secret to fighting your disease is hope. Nothing can destroy hope. Despite it being only four months since my cancer diagnosis, I took the opportunity to attend a late cheerleading tryout at my university, and I made the Tarleton State University All-Girl Squad, where I have already begun to forge life-long friendships.. The only thing that made this possible was the fact that I didn’t lose hope that I could still be and do anything I set my mind to. I also have hope that one day cancer will no longer stand in my way. I not only have hope that I will be cured, but I have hope that in the future, we will have a cure that will diminish the pain in all of those affected by diseases such as cancer. I know that there will be setbacks and losses, but I still have an undying hope that those losses will not be in vain. It is in this idea that I find triumph in my disease.
I refuse to be broken. No matter what my body is going through, I will no longer be shaken mentally. I have learned so much as I have lived with cancer, and I wouldn’t change anything. No matter how bad a situation may seem, I always remind myself that someone else is going through something worse. This thought is what keeps me grateful to be alive, and it is what fuels my hope that someday we will live in a world without these terrible diseases.
My advice to others living with the same disease as me is to never become bitter. Your mind is your biggest friend, and your greatest enemy. I have learned that being bitter about your situation does nothing but make it worse. Being positive not only makes the situation easier on yourself, but I have found that it affects those surrounding you. The last thing I wanted when I was diagnosed was for the people around me to pity me, so I didn’t give them a reason to. Instead I showed them that hope and love are the best medicine.
I encourage those that are affected by the same disease as I to defy others expectations of what they can and can’t do. I challenge them to finish school, to exceed in whatever they study, and become whoever they want to be. I challenge them to make a difference in the world and the lives of those around them. I challenge them to find the best in every situation and teach others the greatness of love and hope. I challenge them to never let their disease beat them where it shouldn’t; their mind. I challenge them to never lose faith, and to prosper in whatever way they want, no matter whatever challenge or obstacle may stand in their way.
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