Living with Psoriasis
I was three when I first began to incessantly scratch at the skin on my lower legs. I cried, begged, and pleaded for my mom to take away the pain, but all she could do was tell me to stop scratching. That’s all anyone has ever been able to tell me to do. Everyday I would pick and rub at my skin, until the area dripped with a concoction of yellow pus and blood. My family scathed at the sight of my hideous legs, and kids avoided playing with me on the playground. The breakouts were always preceded with a bout of strep throat that forced my mother to rush me to the nearest emergency room, or urgent care. My mother, a paralegal, diagnosed me as having eczema, and always treated the hive-like bumps as such, but the treatment never worked. My parents tried everything to get me to stop. For three months at night they would wrap my legs in saran wrap in order to keep me from clawing at my skin while I slept. It was a living nightmare.
It was not until I was thirteen that we learned the cause of my strange symptoms. One day the bumps spread. It was no longer on my legs anymore, but it was all over my body, including my scalp. My parents called to schedule a doctor’s appointment with my pediatrician, who instead urged them to take me to a dermatologist. We got an appointment that day, and the doctor numbed one of my worst spots in order to take a biopsy from the area. The following week we can back in order to see the results of the culture. “Psoriasis”, the doctor said, “This is 100% psoriasis.” Confused, I looked at my parents for an explanation. They appeared to be just as puzzled as I. The doctor explained that psoriasis is an autoimmune disorder that can cause one to break out in bumps similar to the appearance of eczema. Eczema though, tends to be a response to external stimuli, such as cat dander or cleaning products, whereas psoriasis is generally attributed to genetics. Guttate psoriasis, the starnd of the disease that I was diagnosed with, is linked to strep throat, which explained why I so frequently fell ill. Everything seemed to make sense.
The dermatologist insisted that I visit the office once a month, so she could see how I was responding to her treatments. Psoriasis is uncommon in children; therefore she needed to monitor my reactions to the medications. At first she tried creams, so many creams. It became a never-ending cycle of attempting new lotions. After almost two years of no progress, my parents requested that my doctor try something else. There were pills, shots, and photo-light therapies that could be tried, but we had spent two years and hundreds of dollars on lotions that only made me scratch even more. She was hesitant to move forward with my treatments because of my age. Many of the therapies suggested, had not been approved by the FDA for the use on children. After two more months of no progress, she finally decided it was time to try something new. First we tried the photo-light therapy. The dermatologist’s office had a large machine, similar to a tanning bed located in a back room. She instructed me to undress; my psoriasis had spread to my whole body again, and she wanted every area to be treated. Fifteen seconds later I emerged, burned. Three hours later my body was in shock, and I was violently throwing up. Photo-light therapy treatment was out. We tried the pills next, and the same reaction happened. Every different pill, same reaction.
The last option that she was willing to try was the steroid shots. For the first three months I went every week and received a painful shot on my lower backside. I finally seemed to be responding to treatment! The fourth through six months of the treatment, I was scheduled to go every other week. Unfortunately though, my body grew used to the steroids, and the treatments stopped working. At this point, I was a sophomore in high school, and my levels of stress where higher than ever, which meant my breakouts where worse than ever. To this day, I have not been able to find a treatment that I respond to for long periods of time. I build up immunity to treatments, and they all ultimately fail.
In order to cope with the disease, I have had to learn how to manage my levels of stress, and when I break out, I really have to try and refrain from scratching. I have also had to adjust the way I eat, in order to promote a stronger immune system. Instead of eating greasy foods and drinking soda, I try to only eat grilled meat, fish, and vegetables. Water has become an essential, because the more hydrated I am, the more hydrated my skin is. In order to manage my stress levels, I have had to learn to really take time out of my schedule each day to do something that I enjoy. Even if it is just for ten minutes on my busiest days, I will do some of my favorite things like go for a run, roller blade, or lie down and listen to music. These simple tasks help to take me out of the stress of my daily life, which truly does make a difference on how long I am able to stay in remission.
I am currently a student at Stetson University, and have found that college is an extremely trying time in terms of stress and changes. For the first year, I was surrounded by strangers, who became my second family. With the help of this newfound family, I saw that I was not the only college student struggling with an illness. Most of my friends seemed to be struggling too. Together with the help of three girls, we learned how to adjust and accept that this was the life that we were dealt.
While this disorder affects everyone differently, I would reassure others that it is okay to seek other treatments and options. Not everything will work, but if something does work, stick with it! Whenever I have a severe full-body break out, I receive an emergency steroid shot that seems to clear up most of my skin. I would recommend always bringing water anywhere you go, because that genuinely does help. Always remember to make time for yourself, even if it is just ten minutes of doing nothing, or ten minutes talking to someone who understands how you feel. Your body and mind need this in order to stay strong and healthy. But most importantly, no matter how bad the breakouts may be, you must remember that you are truly beautiful. It is perfectly okay to feel a little self-conscious while not in remission, but this disease does not, and will not ever define who you are. Surround yourself with individuals who do not belittle you, but rather who empower you. When you begin to think positively, you will have positive outcomes!
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